Thickly Settled: Slow Down, Part 1

Soaking in nature, Lafayette State Park
Wearing IllumiNITE Vigor Singlet
and Stretch Eclipse Headband

I just got back from a two-week respite. Sixteen glorious days of no work, no Internet, no phone, and mostly, no people. The first part of my vacation was spent in solitude on the Cape; the second half was spent with Mike in the White Mountains. I decided to divvy up this vacation recap post into two parts because each week felt entirely different, and there is so much to talk about—so much I've discovered about myself...again.

I've been taking solo vacations for the past ten years. I started taking them because I was actually terrified to be a woman alone in the world. I knew exposure therapy was the only way to cure that, so I started off small—a trek to Cobleskill, New York, for a weekend exploring Howe Caverns and built my solo-travel bravery up to Scotland, a country I've never visited, to run an ultramarathon in the remote wilderness.

What I love most about my solo vacations is they often come up unexpectedly—an urgent impulse to escape the world. The calling for solitude starts weeks, sometimes months beforehand, and a mystical, faraway place lingers somewhere in my bones until it possesses me so strongly I must go. Magically, when this urge to escape takes over, a serendipitous opportunity like the Kintyre Way Ultramarathon presents itself to me.

But with this time of COVID-19, I couldn't imagine such an opportunity. Plus, I'm working from home and my social lifestyle has settled down to such a domesticated routine, did I really need to escape the world? Didn't quarantine already provide that escape? This is also the first time in twelve years that I've been in a significant relationship. Did I really want to leave my partner? The calling for solitude pulsed, coursing through my bones in a restless pattern. I ignored it, but it didn't ignore me.

Remembering collecting seashells
by the seashore when I was a little girl

My sister is getting married in October. As the maid of honor, my responsibilities include all the celebratory pre-wedding parties: bridal shower, bachelorette, sisters getaway (am I missing something?). But COVID-19 had messed all that up. Until I remembered a friend of mine had a cottage by the sea that she rented out. I sent her a message. Is your cottage available this summer, despite COVID-19? She responded that it was and asked if I wanted the rental for me, for a writing retreat. She's a writer like me so her response is a typical writerly response. But it startled me. No, I wrote. A girls' getaway for my sister who's getting married. But then I thought about it: a solo writing retreat by the sea. Then I joked about it to Mike.

You should go, he said. You should write. The very next day, I booked the cottage for eight days.

Writing spot for the week; first day,
it took 5 hours to write my daily goal
of 2,500 words; by week's end,
I wrote 4,100+ words in just 4 hours

West Harwich, Cape Cod

I shut off all notifications on my phone so that no one could get through to me via text, email, social media, not even by phone call. Only Mike could get through in case of an emergency. I packed my bag with only essentials: my bathing suit, a couple pairs of shorts and tank tops, my IllumiNITE tanks, shorts, headband, and multi-wrap (which doubles as a face mask!), sports bras, flip flops, running shoes, my computer (for writing only), groceries for the week, wine, and a large stack of books that took up an entire backpack. Upon arrival, I instantly fell in love with the cozy cottage and found my writing spot immediately.

The first day of solitude always feels strange, electric, as if the outside world is pressing in, trying to keep its hold on me. But after a much-needed twelve-hour rest, I fell right into my creative zone, and words flowed out of me. I wrote 15,000 words of my novel rewrite; I wrote a letter to a friend who was just diagnosed with a serious medical issue; I wrote a letter to Mike pouring out my soul about everything and anything; I wrote a letter to Future Sera, reminding myself how much I need Sera Time. And I walked everywhere.

Enjoying a glass of wine while listening
to Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling

I walked to the beach and back. I walked to the bike path two miles away and then up and down the bike path for miles, taking in the beauty of the marshes and nature conservatory around me.

I read those books I bought. Six books to be exact. I "read" audiobooks as I drove to the cottage and as I walked the bike path. I read hardcovers and paperbacks by the sea and in my private backyard and on the couch and in the bed.

Each day, I woke up to silence, strong black coffee, and a simple breakfast of peanut butter on toast and a bowl of strawberries. I felt a strange luxury as I slipped into the same familiar clothes every day to write and then the same cozy IllumiNITE athletic wear that carried me all through town on my walks.

I read.
I wrote.
I walked.
I sat by the sea.
I read some more.
I walked some more.
Occasionally, I wrote some more.
Each night, I fell asleep listening to an audiobook.
Each day, I fell more in love with words and the new
vast worlds they brought me.

Being solely in my head with no one to talk to all week brought the nostalgia of a simpler time I couldn't quite place. But it comforted me.

I always feel larger than life, and integral part of the Universe
when I travel solo and wander places I'd never see otherwise

Every time I travel solo, I wonder: What am I really looking for? Where am I really going? The physical destination hardly matters; the real destination is me. My thoughts, my company. But why?

It wasn't until I arrived back home from this solo vacation that it dawned on me during the walk in our neighborhood that Mike and I take every day. Sometimes, we talk nonstop about everything under the sun; other times, like this time, we walk in silence just marveling at our existence, enjoying a quiet solitude together. In this silence, a memory bubbled up.

Serenity found on a 6.5 mile walk on a bike path
from West Harwich to Dennis on Cape Cod

I was a child, somewhere between the ages of eight and ten. I was in my bedroom writing a story, completely in the creative zone. A knock came on the front door, and then my mom stood in my doorway. My best friend stopped by. Do you want to go play outside? my mom asked. Not wanting to hurt my friend's feelings, I begged my mom to tell her I wasn't feeling well or I was grounded or I was in the bathtub—anything to not have to leave the comfort of my solitude and creativity. Another memory flashed, the same scenario, only I was reading a good book; another similar memory flashed, but I was playing with my stuffed animals, creating entire worlds and lives for them. I know you're not really sick, my friend said one day, when I tired of being in my head and longed for company again. She didn't understand, and my childhood self couldn't explain why I needed that solitude. But I desperately did. I still do.

This memory brought an epiphany: These solo vacations bring me back to a simpler time, a time before instant access to everyone through the Internet and cell phones. A simpler time when being outside all day, every day, meant no one had access to me until I returned home. A simpler time when I spent hours lounging in the grass with a book; other times, racing my bike down the path, the wind hugging me, whispering that nothing else matters but this very moment. Vacationing alone brings me back to my childhood, when I was completely and utterly in my head, my imagination running wild, my curiosity of the world still innocent enough.

He fluttered his wings so loudly, I jumped. What is this insect? I discovered
it was only half an insect. I didn't have my phone to film it. The next day,
 I took a photo. Zombie cicadas in 2020? What else is next?!

Mike and Sera wearing IllumiNITE Multi-wraps
Sera in IllumiNITE Mockingbird short sleeve shirt (now final sale)

After eight days, I packed up my belongings and drove back home. But I dwindled in my head, sharing with Mike all I discovered with my novel and on my wanderings and the stories I read. After washing a week's worth of laundry and getting a good night's sleep in my own bed, I once again packed up my belongings, exchanging the books I read for new ones.

Mike and I set off to spend the next five days in Lincoln, New Hampshire, where everything is green and vast, and anything is possible.


Stay tuned for Thickly Settled: Slow Down, Part 2, where I go from lounging around all day to nearly plummeting off a mountainside, three-thousand feet above ground. In the meantime, I'll share with you a sneak peak video of what's to come.

Me, wearing IllumiNITE Stretch Eclipse Headband, Vigor Singlet and Shorties

ME; Is there a bear in there?
MIKE: I'm positive there's no bears.
ME: Why don't you sit in there first?
MIKE: I'm pretty sure there's no bears.

Everyone who knows me knows I'm petrified of bears! Did I go inside the cave?

Do you ever you feel the need to escape the world? Where do you go and what do you do when solitude calls you? Leave a comment below. I'd love to hear your stories!

Six Impossible Things Running Has Taught Me About Living

A completely different post should have gone out last Friday. But here it is...Wednesday. Oops! Now Thursday! Okay, Yikes! Friday!
And I find myself writing finalizing a completely different post.

See, I lost my job last Thursday when my position was eliminated. Suffice to say, it's been a shock to the system, as all losses are. I've been down this unemployment road before, but now I'm a runner! I have a new perspective on new paths I might travel next. Running has taught me to believe at least "six impossible things" about life. Any Alice in Wonderland friends out there? Well, here goes:

1. Keep moving forward, even when it sucks.

I have days where the actual act of running is torture. Whether it's my mental state (I'd rather be lounging on my couch; oh god, it's only been five minutes but it feels like five hours!) or my physical state (my entire body hurts; I can't breathe; I'm so hot/cold I'm going to die), some runs are just the worst! But when all is said and done, I feel so accomplished when I'm done.

This reminds me that not everything in life that's worth doing is enjoyable all the time. But pushing through tough situations makes the end result feel that much better. Plus, working through tough situations sure beats sitting on the couch whining about what I wish I could do.

2. A mile is a mile—no matter the pace.

I used to think that if I didn't run fast, I wasn't a runner. So when I first started running, I ran as fast as I could, which often led to pain, nausea, and burnout. Over time, I've come to realize that running a 13 minute mile is still the same distance as running an 8 minute mile. Some days I feel phenomenal as I seemingly fly down the road. Other days, I need to take it turtle pace. So I honor what my body tells me on any given day and adjust my pace accordingly. It definitely makes for a healthier, more enjoyable run.

I use this self-assessment in other areas of my life now too. I used to think nothing would get accomplished if I wasn't always on the go—moving from one thing to the next. Whether it's checking off items on my to-do list, tackling domestic duties, managing my social calendar, or scheduling time for my personal writing, I now remind myself that I will get it all done—eventually. If it takes longer than expected, so be it. There will always be that extra mile waiting just around the bend. Life is too short to run myself ragged.

3. Breaks are necessary for success.

This one goes hand in hand with pace. Just as I self-assess my speed, I've learned to take breaks during longer runs. Actually, I can thank my very first coach Laura Morris for this gem. She had me walk through every water stop at my first half marathon and my first marathon to stay on track with my desired finish time. Sounds counterintuitive, right? Stopping to go faster? She was right. Taking a few seconds, sometimes minutes, to catch my breath, fuel up, and drink some water helped me regroup and maintain my stamina for the long run (pun intended).

Whenever life starts to overwhelm me and it feels like I'm moving so fast I can't see straight, I take some time to regroup. I get off social media, step away from my phone, and just live in the moment by myself for a few days. These "life breaks" really help reset body, mind, and soul so I can remain the productive, disciplined worker that I am. And I feel happier overall. It's all about balance.

4. It's okay to accept help when offered and to ask for help too.

© Susan Egan

Anyone who knows me knows I struggle with accepting help or asking for help. But when I became a runner, I quickly learned that support from others can be lifesaving. For example, during the Seven Sisters Trail Race, a complete stranger caught me as I tripped down a rocky descent, saving me from major injury. He even stayed with me a short while to make sure I was okay—during a race!  Accepting and offering help is a given in my running community—spectators on the sidelines handing out orange slices and electrolytes, volunteers hiking through forests to provide racers food and supplies, competitors offering their last drop of water to a runner in distress. Egos aside, we runners depend on this support to succeed.

So, as uncomfortable as I feel, I'm learning to accept help from others in all aspects of my life. And I've discovered that I don't feel weaker by "letting people help me." I feel stronger. And freer. Accepting help has made me realize that no one has to go it alone. And it's helped me realize how much I also help others. We're all here for each other, and so much more can be accomplished with "a village."

Running 30 miles at Ghost Train Ultra

5. Do what makes you happy, even if the results are mediocre.

I'm a terrible runner. I am, really. I've developed asthma, which slows me down. I never cross-train. I don't follow rigorous training plans. I'm so bad at running that I realized it's is the first thing I've ever maintained that I'm not naturally good at. I think that's why I hated it for so long. But eventually, I stopped trying to excel at running and that's when I realized how much I love it. Shifting my mindset on enjoying running rather than excelling at running has made me a much happier runner.

This mindset shift has made me enjoy other areas of life that I'm not so great at. I can now laugh at how I park my car all crooked in large parking lots. I accept slightly wrinkled clothes because I haven't mastered ironing. I marvel at the tranquility I feel when I create a terrible painting. I've stopped trying to be the best at everything so I can enjoy things that I never imagined trying before.

6. You can accomplish anything, even the seemingly impossible.

Mt. Tom Ridge

When I first started running, I couldn't imagine running a whole minute, let alone a whole mile. But before I knew it, I was running two whole minutes, then three, then one whole mile, then ten... And now I've run as long as nine hours; as far as 33 miles.

I apply this knowledge and experience to all aspects of my life. When I feel like I could never accomplish [insert difficult decision/tough task/something unknown], I remember how putting one foot in front of the other helped me see I could reach the finish line...and keep on going. So I act on these difficult areas of my life, and remember one step leads to two...and eventually I know I'll make it through ANYTHING. I can accomplish anything, even the seemingly impossible.

And I want to practice these six impossible things at least a half an hour a day. What has running taught you?

An Ultra Life IllumiNITEd

Wearing IllumiNITE at
2019 Chesterfield Gorge Ultramarathon

If you told my 2015 self that Sera Rivers would be running all over the world, running thirty-plus miles—in the woods!—she'd tell you: "You've got the wrong girl. I HATE running. And I most definitely HATE the woods."

But here she is...uh, I mean, here I am, an ultramarathoner! And I've already completed four ultras in just eight months—on two continents, thank you very much. And now I'm gearing up for my next race: a marathon in Greece. Not just ANY marathon: The official route of the legendary Pheidippides who, in 490 BC, ran from Marathon to Athens to share the news that the Greeks had won the battle against the Persians.

This running thing is clearly not a phase like I first thought it was; it's my life. And with so many people asking about all my adventures, it's about time I share them!—Especially now because I've got exciting news to tell.

I am now a running ambassador for IllumiNITE—a family-owned, Massachusetts-based apparel company (my home state! Woot!) that creates sportswear and accessories with an all-in-one reflective ink that increases visibility and safety—whether you're running, cycling, rollerblading, or even walking your pet at night.

I'll admit, I was a bit scared to try out new clothing for the first time at an ultramarathon (33 miles) in the wilderness of a foreign country. Every runner knows you don't try new things at a race. But I loved IllumiNITE's styles, and I wanted to look great in Scotland, especially since I was one of just a handful of Americans running the Kintyre Way Ultra. And a few people I knew who wore IllumiNITE swore by their clothing, so I gave it a shot.

Wearing Featherlite Reflective
Hooded Nylon Packable Jacket

What I thought would take about 7 hours to finish, took 8 hours, 54 minutes, and 34 seconds (that's another story!), but man, I am so relieved I had IllumiNITE gear. It was cold first thing, so the featherlite jacket kept me warm but was easily stowed away in my hydration vest as soon as the weather warmed up. I couldn't even tell I was carrying it (it really is so lightweight!). My body stayed cool and dry the whole 9 hours, despite the sun beating down on me (surprising for Scotland in May, I know), and the reversible headband kept the sweat out of my eyes! A definite added bonus! Where has IllumiNITE been all my running life?! I'm already an addict.

But don't take my word for it. Try IllumiNITE for yourself. Follow my blog for an upcoming discount code, giveaways, and more! You'll learn about all the places I've been so far, and discover all the places I plan to go. I'll also share training and nutrition tips I've learned along the way, as well as my journey to finding balance between running and writing and living the ultra life!

And I also want to hear from you! While I'm technically on social media, I've not REALLY seeing what's happening with you all on social media! I've been so busy!  Please comment below with something you're excited about—doesn't have to be running related!

Let's start a Run Brightly Tribe!