How Green River Marathon Got Me Out of My Funk

Cranky. Anti social. Unmotivated. In other words: In A Funk! It happens to the best of us, and it's how I've felt for a while now. All the activities I love doing have recently felt like a burden, another thing I have to do. And that's not me. So I knew I had to do something drastic to get rid of this funk once and for all. But I didn't know what could possibly help!

Let's rewind.

Early this year, I raved about Green River Marathon to anyone who would listen. I had run it last year and loved every minute of it. The course was so beautiful; I wanted to run it again! I convinced some friends that Green River was the perfect first marathon because the course descends 1,450 feet to the finish line. I had shaved an hour off my marathon time! So, my friends signed up, and I promised to follow suit. But when I went to register, it was sold out! 

Fast-forward to a couple months. 

My friends kept me in the loop of their training. They sent texts like "16 mile long run this morning. Feet don't fail me now" and then a few hours later "Mission accomplished!" It felt good to know that I had inspired people to run their first marathon and that they thought of me as they increased their mileage. Every time I run long distance, I still think of the first people who inspired me to run my first marathon. And I'm forever grateful to them. I was happy to pay that inspiration forward. Though, I myself, was beginning to slide into a terrible funk.

Fast-forward to a couple more months. 

One of my friends training for Green River for his first marathon got injured. A stress fracture. Doctor's orders: No running. He was devastated. And I'll admit I felt guilty that I was the one who convinced him to sign up. I wondered: Why the hell do we do this to ourselves? Which added to my frustration, which added to my feeling overwhelmed, which added to my lack of motivation.

This funk wasn't going away. I noticed that running on my own (which I love so much) totally sucked. I couldn't even get pumped up when I ran with my boyfriend, who is beyond excited to be training for his first marathon—in Greece! Despite all my smiling selfies, my joy for running got lost somewhere on the road. I had entered the danger zone of rutsville, but I couldn't explain why. I needed to take action. But how?

Fast-forward to one week before Green River Marathon.

My injured friend? He messaged me a few days before the race telling me he was out of his boot. He was healing just fine and felt excited that he could start running again soon. He said he was still going to Green River to cheer everyone on! He asked if he would see me there. I was so happy to hear he was recovering well and was in good spirits. But I had never gone to a race as a spectator before.

This funk of mine made every excuse in the book as to why sleeping in was the better option. But his text reminded me that many of my friends were running Green River, including Ruthie—who I convinced to run her first marathon. Then I remembered that some running friends had surprised me at the Green River finish line last year. It was the best feeling ever to see people I loved and admired cheering me on at my finish!

So I found myself texting back before I could talk myself out of it: "YES!" I wrote. "I'll be there!"

Green River Marathon Finish Line! 

Fast-forward to RACE DAY!

Ruthie won first place female!
2019 Green River Marathon

My running friends and I set up chairs at the finish line with a bunch of other spectators and watched with anticipation as
the clock ticked away. I met mothers, fathers, children, siblings, romantic partners, and extended families of the racers. I met runners who were injured, runners who had run last year, runners who didn't get in this year, and runners simply there to cheer on friends. I was surprised to feel a similar excited energy among fellow spectators that I had felt amidst fellow racers at starting lines. 

When the first three male runners crossed the finish line, the excitement skyrocketed. Cheers and noise-makers and hand-claps erupted in a cacophony of congratulations. And then the crowd buzzed with anticipation for the first female. After a while, I said, "Did we miss her?" Murmurs broke out, "Where could she be?" and "It should be any moment now!" Someone pointed and shouted, "There she is!" We all craned our necks and pointed our cameras. As I looked through my phone's screen as it recorded, I realized I knew that face. "Ruthie....First! She's first! That's my girl!" I shouted so loud, I lost my voice for a bit.

The hours ticked by as I continued to cheer on multiple friends over the finish line! Before I knew it, the last of my friends came through, and I was eating and drinking and listening to all their stories about their experience on the course. Their bodies shook with excitement....and okay, maybe a little fatigue...their faces beamed with pure joy, and their eyes misted up with pride for their accomplishment. My own heart swelled with pride, joy, and inspiration. 

Do you see the pure joy on my face?!
So proud of my marathoner friends!

As I packed up my lawn chair to head out, I left my funk on the sidelines. Good riddance!

Once I got home, I texted my boyfriend. "We're adding speedwork into our marathon training! Monday night we're going to the track. Be prepared to work hard!"

Being a spectator is exactly what I needed to get out of this funk. Thank you to everyone for keeping me inspired and for all your support in my own running endeavors! I left Green River feeling so much love for my running community. You remind me why I run. 

Congratulations to all the Green River Marathon finishers. 

What's next on your race list?

Six Impossible Things Running Has Taught Me About Living

A completely different post should have gone out last Friday. But here it is...Wednesday. Oops! Now Thursday! Okay, Yikes! Friday!
And I find myself writing finalizing a completely different post.

See, I lost my job last Thursday when my position was eliminated. Suffice to say, it's been a shock to the system, as all losses are. I've been down this unemployment road before, but now I'm a runner! I have a new perspective on new paths I might travel next. Running has taught me to believe at least "six impossible things" about life. Any Alice in Wonderland friends out there? Well, here goes:

1. Keep moving forward, even when it sucks.

I have days where the actual act of running is torture. Whether it's my mental state (I'd rather be lounging on my couch; oh god, it's only been five minutes but it feels like five hours!) or my physical state (my entire body hurts; I can't breathe; I'm so hot/cold I'm going to die), some runs are just the worst! But when all is said and done, I feel so accomplished when I'm done.

This reminds me that not everything in life that's worth doing is enjoyable all the time. But pushing through tough situations makes the end result feel that much better. Plus, working through tough situations sure beats sitting on the couch whining about what I wish I could do.

2. A mile is a mile—no matter the pace.

I used to think that if I didn't run fast, I wasn't a runner. So when I first started running, I ran as fast as I could, which often led to pain, nausea, and burnout. Over time, I've come to realize that running a 13 minute mile is still the same distance as running an 8 minute mile. Some days I feel phenomenal as I seemingly fly down the road. Other days, I need to take it turtle pace. So I honor what my body tells me on any given day and adjust my pace accordingly. It definitely makes for a healthier, more enjoyable run.

I use this self-assessment in other areas of my life now too. I used to think nothing would get accomplished if I wasn't always on the go—moving from one thing to the next. Whether it's checking off items on my to-do list, tackling domestic duties, managing my social calendar, or scheduling time for my personal writing, I now remind myself that I will get it all done—eventually. If it takes longer than expected, so be it. There will always be that extra mile waiting just around the bend. Life is too short to run myself ragged.

3. Breaks are necessary for success.

This one goes hand in hand with pace. Just as I self-assess my speed, I've learned to take breaks during longer runs. Actually, I can thank my very first coach Laura Morris for this gem. She had me walk through every water stop at my first half marathon and my first marathon to stay on track with my desired finish time. Sounds counterintuitive, right? Stopping to go faster? She was right. Taking a few seconds, sometimes minutes, to catch my breath, fuel up, and drink some water helped me regroup and maintain my stamina for the long run (pun intended).

Whenever life starts to overwhelm me and it feels like I'm moving so fast I can't see straight, I take some time to regroup. I get off social media, step away from my phone, and just live in the moment by myself for a few days. These "life breaks" really help reset body, mind, and soul so I can remain the productive, disciplined worker that I am. And I feel happier overall. It's all about balance.

4. It's okay to accept help when offered and to ask for help too.

© Susan Egan

Anyone who knows me knows I struggle with accepting help or asking for help. But when I became a runner, I quickly learned that support from others can be lifesaving. For example, during the Seven Sisters Trail Race, a complete stranger caught me as I tripped down a rocky descent, saving me from major injury. He even stayed with me a short while to make sure I was okay—during a race!  Accepting and offering help is a given in my running community—spectators on the sidelines handing out orange slices and electrolytes, volunteers hiking through forests to provide racers food and supplies, competitors offering their last drop of water to a runner in distress. Egos aside, we runners depend on this support to succeed.

So, as uncomfortable as I feel, I'm learning to accept help from others in all aspects of my life. And I've discovered that I don't feel weaker by "letting people help me." I feel stronger. And freer. Accepting help has made me realize that no one has to go it alone. And it's helped me realize how much I also help others. We're all here for each other, and so much more can be accomplished with "a village."

Running 30 miles at Ghost Train Ultra

5. Do what makes you happy, even if the results are mediocre.

I'm a terrible runner. I am, really. I've developed asthma, which slows me down. I never cross-train. I don't follow rigorous training plans. I'm so bad at running that I realized it's is the first thing I've ever maintained that I'm not naturally good at. I think that's why I hated it for so long. But eventually, I stopped trying to excel at running and that's when I realized how much I love it. Shifting my mindset on enjoying running rather than excelling at running has made me a much happier runner.

This mindset shift has made me enjoy other areas of life that I'm not so great at. I can now laugh at how I park my car all crooked in large parking lots. I accept slightly wrinkled clothes because I haven't mastered ironing. I marvel at the tranquility I feel when I create a terrible painting. I've stopped trying to be the best at everything so I can enjoy things that I never imagined trying before.

6. You can accomplish anything, even the seemingly impossible.

Mt. Tom Ridge

When I first started running, I couldn't imagine running a whole minute, let alone a whole mile. But before I knew it, I was running two whole minutes, then three, then one whole mile, then ten... And now I've run as long as nine hours; as far as 33 miles.

I apply this knowledge and experience to all aspects of my life. When I feel like I could never accomplish [insert difficult decision/tough task/something unknown], I remember how putting one foot in front of the other helped me see I could reach the finish line...and keep on going. So I act on these difficult areas of my life, and remember one step leads to two...and eventually I know I'll make it through ANYTHING. I can accomplish anything, even the seemingly impossible.

And I want to practice these six impossible things at least a half an hour a day. What has running taught you?