Thickly Settled: Slow Down, Part 1

Soaking in nature, Lafayette State Park
Wearing IllumiNITE Vigor Singlet
and Stretch Eclipse Headband

I just got back from a two-week respite. Sixteen glorious days of no work, no Internet, no phone, and mostly, no people. The first part of my vacation was spent in solitude on the Cape; the second half was spent with Mike in the White Mountains. I decided to divvy up this vacation recap post into two parts because each week felt entirely different, and there is so much to talk about—so much I've discovered about myself...again.

I've been taking solo vacations for the past ten years. I started taking them because I was actually terrified to be a woman alone in the world. I knew exposure therapy was the only way to cure that, so I started off small—a trek to Cobleskill, New York, for a weekend exploring Howe Caverns and built my solo-travel bravery up to Scotland, a country I've never visited, to run an ultramarathon in the remote wilderness.

What I love most about my solo vacations is they often come up unexpectedly—an urgent impulse to escape the world. The calling for solitude starts weeks, sometimes months beforehand, and a mystical, faraway place lingers somewhere in my bones until it possesses me so strongly I must go. Magically, when this urge to escape takes over, a serendipitous opportunity like the Kintyre Way Ultramarathon presents itself to me.

But with this time of COVID-19, I couldn't imagine such an opportunity. Plus, I'm working from home and my social lifestyle has settled down to such a domesticated routine, did I really need to escape the world? Didn't quarantine already provide that escape? This is also the first time in twelve years that I've been in a significant relationship. Did I really want to leave my partner? The calling for solitude pulsed, coursing through my bones in a restless pattern. I ignored it, but it didn't ignore me.

Remembering collecting seashells
by the seashore when I was a little girl

My sister is getting married in October. As the maid of honor, my responsibilities include all the celebratory pre-wedding parties: bridal shower, bachelorette, sisters getaway (am I missing something?). But COVID-19 had messed all that up. Until I remembered a friend of mine had a cottage by the sea that she rented out. I sent her a message. Is your cottage available this summer, despite COVID-19? She responded that it was and asked if I wanted the rental for me, for a writing retreat. She's a writer like me so her response is a typical writerly response. But it startled me. No, I wrote. A girls' getaway for my sister who's getting married. But then I thought about it: a solo writing retreat by the sea. Then I joked about it to Mike.

You should go, he said. You should write. The very next day, I booked the cottage for eight days.

Writing spot for the week; first day,
it took 5 hours to write my daily goal
of 2,500 words; by week's end,
I wrote 4,100+ words in just 4 hours

West Harwich, Cape Cod

I shut off all notifications on my phone so that no one could get through to me via text, email, social media, not even by phone call. Only Mike could get through in case of an emergency. I packed my bag with only essentials: my bathing suit, a couple pairs of shorts and tank tops, my IllumiNITE tanks, shorts, headband, and multi-wrap (which doubles as a face mask!), sports bras, flip flops, running shoes, my computer (for writing only), groceries for the week, wine, and a large stack of books that took up an entire backpack. Upon arrival, I instantly fell in love with the cozy cottage and found my writing spot immediately.

The first day of solitude always feels strange, electric, as if the outside world is pressing in, trying to keep its hold on me. But after a much-needed twelve-hour rest, I fell right into my creative zone, and words flowed out of me. I wrote 15,000 words of my novel rewrite; I wrote a letter to a friend who was just diagnosed with a serious medical issue; I wrote a letter to Mike pouring out my soul about everything and anything; I wrote a letter to Future Sera, reminding myself how much I need Sera Time. And I walked everywhere.

Enjoying a glass of wine while listening
to Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling

I walked to the beach and back. I walked to the bike path two miles away and then up and down the bike path for miles, taking in the beauty of the marshes and nature conservatory around me.

I read those books I bought. Six books to be exact. I "read" audiobooks as I drove to the cottage and as I walked the bike path. I read hardcovers and paperbacks by the sea and in my private backyard and on the couch and in the bed.

Each day, I woke up to silence, strong black coffee, and a simple breakfast of peanut butter on toast and a bowl of strawberries. I felt a strange luxury as I slipped into the same familiar clothes every day to write and then the same cozy IllumiNITE athletic wear that carried me all through town on my walks.

I read.
I wrote.
I walked.
I sat by the sea.
I read some more.
I walked some more.
Occasionally, I wrote some more.
Each night, I fell asleep listening to an audiobook.
Each day, I fell more in love with words and the new
vast worlds they brought me.

Being solely in my head with no one to talk to all week brought the nostalgia of a simpler time I couldn't quite place. But it comforted me.

I always feel larger than life, and integral part of the Universe
when I travel solo and wander places I'd never see otherwise

Every time I travel solo, I wonder: What am I really looking for? Where am I really going? The physical destination hardly matters; the real destination is me. My thoughts, my company. But why?

It wasn't until I arrived back home from this solo vacation that it dawned on me during the walk in our neighborhood that Mike and I take every day. Sometimes, we talk nonstop about everything under the sun; other times, like this time, we walk in silence just marveling at our existence, enjoying a quiet solitude together. In this silence, a memory bubbled up.

Serenity found on a 6.5 mile walk on a bike path
from West Harwich to Dennis on Cape Cod

I was a child, somewhere between the ages of eight and ten. I was in my bedroom writing a story, completely in the creative zone. A knock came on the front door, and then my mom stood in my doorway. My best friend stopped by. Do you want to go play outside? my mom asked. Not wanting to hurt my friend's feelings, I begged my mom to tell her I wasn't feeling well or I was grounded or I was in the bathtub—anything to not have to leave the comfort of my solitude and creativity. Another memory flashed, the same scenario, only I was reading a good book; another similar memory flashed, but I was playing with my stuffed animals, creating entire worlds and lives for them. I know you're not really sick, my friend said one day, when I tired of being in my head and longed for company again. She didn't understand, and my childhood self couldn't explain why I needed that solitude. But I desperately did. I still do.

This memory brought an epiphany: These solo vacations bring me back to a simpler time, a time before instant access to everyone through the Internet and cell phones. A simpler time when being outside all day, every day, meant no one had access to me until I returned home. A simpler time when I spent hours lounging in the grass with a book; other times, racing my bike down the path, the wind hugging me, whispering that nothing else matters but this very moment. Vacationing alone brings me back to my childhood, when I was completely and utterly in my head, my imagination running wild, my curiosity of the world still innocent enough.

He fluttered his wings so loudly, I jumped. What is this insect? I discovered
it was only half an insect. I didn't have my phone to film it. The next day,
 I took a photo. Zombie cicadas in 2020? What else is next?!

Mike and Sera wearing IllumiNITE Multi-wraps
Sera in IllumiNITE Mockingbird short sleeve shirt (now final sale)

After eight days, I packed up my belongings and drove back home. But I dwindled in my head, sharing with Mike all I discovered with my novel and on my wanderings and the stories I read. After washing a week's worth of laundry and getting a good night's sleep in my own bed, I once again packed up my belongings, exchanging the books I read for new ones.

Mike and I set off to spend the next five days in Lincoln, New Hampshire, where everything is green and vast, and anything is possible.


Stay tuned for Thickly Settled: Slow Down, Part 2, where I go from lounging around all day to nearly plummeting off a mountainside, three-thousand feet above ground. In the meantime, I'll share with you a sneak peak video of what's to come.

Me, wearing IllumiNITE Stretch Eclipse Headband, Vigor Singlet and Shorties

ME; Is there a bear in there?
MIKE: I'm positive there's no bears.
ME: Why don't you sit in there first?
MIKE: I'm pretty sure there's no bears.

Everyone who knows me knows I'm petrified of bears! Did I go inside the cave?

Do you ever you feel the need to escape the world? Where do you go and what do you do when solitude calls you? Leave a comment below. I'd love to hear your stories!

Train, Hike, Race, Repeat: An IllumiNITEd Agenda

IllumiNITE Savannah Shirt

January and February are always my lowest miles months. The cold, short days really zap my enthusiasm, but I figure if there is any time to rest and recover, winter is the perfect excuse to kick off my running shoes and catch up on my shows. Remember, 2020 is all about finding balance.

So far, I'm finding my groove. I've settled into my new 5:00 am writing routine before going into my day job.

I've been working out at the gym with my sister on our lunch hour, adding in strength training and speedwork on the treadmill.

Sera: IllumiNITE Dovetail Tee
and Women's Shortie

And I've officially planned out my hikes and races for the year!

Yes! As part of goals for living a balanced life, I'm incorporating more mountains back into my athletic activities. Why? Two reasons:

1) I promised my life partner that I'd hike more if he ran a marathon (his first) with me (he did! and he signed up for two more!).

2) In 2018, I ran my fastest marathon and was in the greatest shape of my life. I truly believe it's because I incorporated mountain training/races into my running routine that year.


So what's on my IllumiNITEd agenda this year? I thought you'd never ask!

THE BOSS

IlumiNITE Eclipse Headband, Vigor Singlet,
and Women's Shortie

First up is Loon Mountain Race in Lincoln, New Hampshire, in July. This race is 6.6 miles straight up a mountain—with the last kilometer on a black diamond ski slope—a 45-degree angle!

Check out the Upper Walking Boss video to see for yourself. Hang onto your couch...you'll get vertigo just watching!


It's brutal; it's dizzying; it's So. Much. Fun!

Instead of taking the gondola ride that's included in the race fee, I always run back down the mountain afterwards. And then I cool off in the river!

IlumiNITE Eclipse Headband, Vigor Singlet,
and Women's Shortie

Ahh, best mini-vacation ever! Since we're there, we'll hike up Franconia Ridge a few days before the race as well. That weekend is a 16-miler training weekend for us (for our marathon), so the hike and race will fulfill that requirement. This will be my third year doing this race, and I seriously cannot wait to run it with Mike!

Training for this race will include the Seven Sisters race route and Mt. Tom ski slopes. My quads and glutes are already burning thinking about it!

THE RIVER

I ran so fast, I burned holes in my socks! haha

What goes up, must go down! Everyone who knows me knows how much I hate hills! So to reward myself for all this climbing, I've signed back up for the New England Green River Marathon in August. The course is one way, from Vermont to Massachusetts, on a tree-canopied road alongside the cooling Green River. The elevation LOSS is an appreciated 1,450 feet.

I ran this race ONCE, and it was my fastest marathon yet! At the time, I was at the peak of my mountain racing, so I'm hoping I can beat my record now that I'm adding mountains back into my routine!

I chose this marathon again because it's the perfect FIRST marathon, and since Mike's first marathon was the ever-grueling, mostly uphill, jam-packed marathon in Greece, I thought Green River would make for a nice contrast (he's still not convinced he likes marathons, but soon he will LOVE them, haha).

Training for this will include hikes on Mount Greylock and Mount Race (gotta keep up our strength) and speedwork (intervals) on a track.

THE GHOST TRAIN

My son and I costuming it up at
Ghost Train Ultra in 2018 

We'll end the year with Ghost Train Ultra Marathon in October. This was my first ultramarathon (I did 30 miles), and it's 15-mile out and back course makes it perfect for the newbie (or seasoned) ultramarathoner. The course is relatively flat with just one hill (that goes up both ways!), but is hardly boring as it's filled with spooky, Halloweenie decorations, costumes galore, and a tunnel—yes! a tunnel!—to run through!

This year, I'd like to accomplish 45 miles, 30 on Saturday and 15 on Sunday. We'll see how my year goes before I officially commit to that! What I'm most excited for is dressing up in costume for this race! Maybe this year, we can wear capes! I'm already feeling like a superhero as I think about bounding up all these mountains and racing at the speed of IllumiNITE!

IllumiNITE Fishbone Halloween Cape

New England Green River Marathon is perfectly timed 7 weeks before this ultra! I'll just continue on with Hal Higdon's Ultramarathon schedule to stay on track, maybe doing half-distance the day after my long distance runs to get used to running long stretches back-to-back. For example: 26 miles on Saturday and then 10 miles on Sunday. And I'll have to shave off one week, so I'll just skip week 21 and go right to week 22.

I'm crossing my fingers that Mike will feel motivated to "go the distance" and join me with my ultra training. He is thinking of running 15 miles on Saturday and 15 miles on Sunday for a total of 30 miles that weekend...but I'm wondering if all the excitement and magic of race day will get him to do 30 all at once!!! No pressure (yet!)!

Sera: IllumiNITE Ambition Hoodie
Mike: IllumiNITE Early Riser

So tell me:

What races are you signed up for this year?

What's your training plan? 

I'd love to hear! Leave a comment below!

Balance: This is 2020

Feeling unbalanced

How is it already the last day in January? 2020 has been a whirlwind with starting a new full-time job and part-time freelance work, revising my novel, moving my son back to college, trying to keep up with my dating and social life...the list goes on. Happy New Year ! I hope yours hasn't roared in quite as fiercely as mine.

I've been trying to define my goals for the year. I even sat down and wrote myself a letter of the things I wish to accomplish in love, career, and health this year. But I've been searching for a word to use as an overall theme. A word that I can say to remind myself to stay on track if I go astray. I've struggled all month to think of this word...as you can see above, I've been a bit busy.

Then three seemingly ordinary but actually significant events happened.

I never get postcards in the mail. Cards, yes. Letters, occasionally. But never postcards. I got two in one week from two of my illustrator friends wishing me a Happy New Year—both hand designed. The first postcard had the word "HOPE" incorporated into the art (check out @beautifullworldshop artwork on Instagram; Kerrita's designs make my heart happy!) The second postcard had an illustration of my friend, her husband, and children (check out @larissadrawsstuff on Instagram; Larissa's designs make my young self shine). Larissa addressed the postcard to the pseudonym she jokingly created for my writer persona. The words "FAMILY" and "WRITER" popped into my head.

Pondering, pondering

I mulled these words around in my head as I continued to struggle with MY word that would encompass 2020. Then yesterday, I had lunch with a colleague of mine that I hadn't seen in over five years when she left the publishing house we worked at to work at the college I started working at this month. As we updated each other on the past years of our lives, she said something like: "You're still as busy as ever. I've always envied how much you do in life." I laughed and swore I wasn't as busy as I used to be.

But as I walked through campus back to my office, the word "BUSY" bounced around my head. And then my mind quieted just before the word "BALANCE" whispered to me.

"Balance," I said out loud to absolutely no one. My word for 2020 is "BALANCE."

Diving all-in

I have always struggled with balance. When I do something, I dive all in...if I'm writing, I'm writing a novel AND a short piece of fiction on the side. If I'm running, I'm training for a marathon or an ultra marathon AND trying to strengthen my climbing ability or speed. If I'm reading a book, I read the WHOLE book in one sitting OR read multiple books at a time. If I'm watching a new show, I binge the entire Season AND have a second show I can watch on the side when I need a distraction.

Hell, I actually have trouble with my physical balance as well. You do NOT want to see me in a hot yoga class! I'm falling over with every single pose, even the seated poses.

Balance. How am I going to achieve balance in 2020? We're only 31 days in, and I'm already struggling. Deep breaths. Focus on the positive, Sera. Positives, right. I have been making small changes in my life, and although they are minor, these changes have been helping me find balance.

At a standstill brings
a different perspective

Some of these changes started last year when I lost my job. No money means saying "No" to so many things that I was involved in. No to races. No to lunches, dinners, or drinks with friends. No to driving long distances to visit people. No to everything whatsoever that cost money. Before I knew it, saying "No" became easier than ever. Having more downtime helped me rest and recover from the burnout I hadn't realized my go-go-go lifestyle had fueled.

Stopping everything for the last four months of 2019 really helped me reset in January with a clean slate. Yes, as above mentions, it's been a whirlwind of a month, but with change comes initial chaos sometimes. I'm settling into a new routine while I figure out what I want to fill my time with and how to allocate that time so I don't tilt the scales in just one direction.

I do not have all the answers about how to achieve said balance. But here are my priorities and where I want to focus my time:

1. My Novel Revision—After being stuck for on how to fix this book for the last two years, it's all become clear! I am so happy my Muse is back.
2. Trail Running, Mountain Climbing, and Strength Training—Being immersed in the thick of nature makes me my most happiest and truest self (yes, I know that's not grammatically correct, but in Sera World, there is "happiest" and "most happiest" haha).
3. Clean Eating—I want to maintain eating whole foods, eating out less, and finding creative ways to make cooking fun (Whole30 blew my mind, but that's a future post).
4. Downtime—Rest and relaxation with loved ones as well as alone-time are just as important as any other goal. I must remember that just as Rome wasn't built in a day, I do not need to finish everything at once. 

Finding balance

I've discovered that a strict routine is already helping me fit in writing time, downtime (yes, I schedule that in), and clean eating. But I still need to find a way to incorporate trail running and hiking into my weekly activities. But I'm not beating myself up about it. I'm trying to be more kind to myself (really helps with finding balance, I think), and realistically, I know that I am slightly less active during the winter. So I am taking small measures, like walking the 3/4 trek uphill to the dining hall on campus, going to the gym a couple days a week, and scheduling a hike when I can. I did sign up for Loon Mountain Race, and I can't wait to start training for it!

Balance. How did I not think of this word sooner? I've been crying about finding life balance for years. It's been in front of me all along.

Do you have any tips that help you find work-life balance? I could really use some advice! And also tell me: What's your word for 2020? Leave a comment below.

IllumiNITE Photographs by Matt Francis Photos
I'm wearing: 
Halo Unisex Knit Hat in Flo Lime
Reflective Neck Scruff in Flo Lime
Piper W Long Sleeve Reflective Tee in Flo Lime/Graphite
Comet Reflective W Running Tight in Black/Flo Lime
Use discount code Sera15 for 15% Off you entire IlumiNITE order